Tobey Farts
Dog shaming + creationists.

Dog shaming + creationists.

Ronnie Rideau
hey there

Matthew Tobey
who’s this?

Ronnie Rideau
Can u chat ?!? Im bored and wanted to meet new people… 24/female..you ??

Matthew Tobey
93/male! How do you do?

Ronnie Rideau
Just got out of the shower..crazy day been working a lot! but i am feeling arroused! so what’s up …. want to have some fun??

Matthew Tobey
I am having a great deal of fun already. I just got my first computer! IT’S WONDERFUL! Do you have a computer???

Ronnie Rideau
I want a guy who can make me cum …have you ever made a chick cum?? hehe

Matthew Tobey
We had chickens on the farm when I was a boy. One time the rooster had a bum leg so I had to hold him up while he made the hens pregnant.

Ronnie Rideau
going to change my panties… want to see??

Matthew Tobey
I will close my eyes. My Betty has been gone going on 12 years, God rest her soul, but I still consider myself a married man

Ronnie Rideau
wanna play on webcam?

Matthew Tobey
It is gard to ty[e with my eyes blosed. I hope I’m hiyying the right jeys.

Ronnie Rideau
okie baby im gunna send you a cam invite, look here www.goo.gl/xzUEVX so we can cam privately…just click the “Accept Invite” tab on the left..yup. the green one!

Matthew Tobey
Are tou dressef yet???

Ronnie Rideau
i use this website to play on cuz i do not want to be recorded!…..this website doesn’t allow members to record my webcam! ya know?

Matthew Tobey
I’n giung to open ny eues noe. I gope you’te decent!

Ronnie Rideau
credit card is just to verify your an adult , you’ll get in for free thru my page but ya need to verify that you’re an adult ,can’t show tits and pussy to under agers .. ya know?

Matthew Tobey
I don’t use credit cards. The banks are a bunch of no good hornswogglers!

Ronnie Rideau
let me know when you are done or if ya need help ..I will be getting sexxy for you ..ok ??

Matthew Tobey
I’m drinking a glass of warm buttermilk, though I can never get it to the right temperature like Betty always could. Do you like buttermilk?

Ronnie Rideau
a warm pussy for a warm dick

Matthew Tobey
Well, I’ve always just called it buttermilk. Do they have a different name for licorice whips now too?

Ronnie Rideau
be right back.. 1 second … need to restart my cam ..ya comin’ ??

Matthew Tobey
Did you know you can play pinochle on the computer? What will they think of next?

Ronnie Rideau
ok you are ready lemme know when ur in handsome..

Matthew Tobey
I don’t know if I’d say handsome, but I suppose I was enough of a looker to keep Betty’s eye for 59 years of marriage. Would you like to see a picture of us at the World’s Fair?

Ronnie Rideau
are ya in yet?

Matthew Tobey
I’m holding the photograph up to the screen. Can you see it?

Ronnie Rideau
well hey …ya better gimmie some “gold’ when you’re on the website haha…..it’s like a flirt & I’d love some from u ..ok ??

Matthew Tobey
We shared a hamburger on the ferris wheel. It was wonderful!

Ronnie Rideau
ok

Matthew Tobey
I knew I’d be shipping out soon, and I wasn’t about to let a gal like that get away from me, so I proposed by the moonlight on her front stoop that evening.

Ronnie Rideau
k

Matthew Tobey
I couldn’t afford a ring back then, so I fashioned one from a gum wrapper and promised to buy her the real thing when I returned from the war.

Ronnie Rideau
what’s takin’ ya soooo long sexy i’m in here waiting for …

Matthew Tobey
And do you believe she kept that old gum wrapper until she died?
It was in an old shoebox with her other keepsakes. But I took it out after she passed and put it on her finger one last time before we laid her to rest.

Ronnie Rideau
mhhm finger it lolz

Matthew Tobey
I think you would have liked Betty.

I want to vote for that guy for president.

I want to vote for that guy for president.

Surest Leo:
Re MacBook 2.4GHz, OS X Lion, Upgraded Hard Drive, New Battery - $600 (Canton)
hi
Matthew Tobey:
HELLO!
Surest Leo:
I understand you
i will make the payment
Matthew Tobey:
Finally, someone understands me!
You should come to my rat dressage recital. Only then will you truly understand me.
Surest Leo:
what do you mean
Matthew Tobey:
It's kind of like ballet
but with rats
or opossums if the rats have the day off
or plantains if the opossums are sick
I don't really recommend the plantain performances
Surest Leo:
can i make the payment
??
Hello
Matthew Tobey:
YES PLEASE!
I like you, so I am lowering the price
Please make a payment of just $875,000,000
your friend will love this MacBook!
Surest Leo:
I want to sent you 1,230
now
Matthew Tobey:
$680,000,000, but that's as low as I can go.
I have to put food on the table, you know?
The tiny table at which my rats and opossums eat.
Otherwise they'll eat the plantains.
Surest Leo:
i have made the payment
Did you see the payment confirmation from paypal
??
Matthew Tobey:
No
Surest Leo:
Ok
Have you check your inbox or spam
??
Matthew Tobey:
No, I'm sorry.
Surest Leo:
check it now
Matthew Tobey:
There is a fake paypal phishing email in my spam, but I don't see anything legitimate.
Could you just come over and give me the money?
Preferably in nickels. My rats are allergic to paper money.
If you can be here by around 1, you can watch a dressage rehearsal
though I should warn you that it will be the plantains rehearsing
I don't really recommend the plantain performances
Hello?
I still haven't received the payment.
But I went ahead and sent the MacBook anyway, because you seem like a trustworthy person.
I've also included two rats, a opossum and one bunch of plantains.
They will guard the MacBook on its journey and will perform for you on their arrival.
Surest Leo:
check your XXXXX@gmail.com mail
inbox or spam
Matthew Tobey:
I told them not to eat the plantains, so they will be hungry. They bite. The opossum will probably be in heat too.
Friend, I am concerned for you. There are two fake paypal emails in my spam folder. I fear your account may have been hacked by a nefarious lot.
Close enough.

Close enough.

Lara Flynn Boyle’s big toe makes me proud to be an American.

Lara Flynn Boyle’s big toe makes me proud to be an American.

bobbyfinger:

Blake Lively’s segment of the SAVAGES poster is the funniest thing that’s ever happened to American cinema.

So wait, Savages is a sequel to Krippendorf’s Tribe? Where do I get my ticket?

bobbyfinger:

Blake Lively’s segment of the SAVAGES poster is the funniest thing that’s ever happened to American cinema.

So wait, Savages is a sequel to Krippendorf’s Tribe? Where do I get my ticket?

You’re welcome.

You’re welcome.

I love chatting with different people.

I love chatting with different people.

The Incredible Hulk is our generation’s Roger & Me.

The Incredible Hulk is our generation’s Roger & Me.