Tobey Farts

I want to vote for that guy for president.

Tue, 02 Oct 2012 16:40:00 -0400

I want to vote for that guy for president.

Surest Leo:

Mon, 30 Jul 2012 16:50:33 -0400

Surest Leo:
Re MacBook 2.4GHz, OS X Lion, Upgraded Hard Drive, New Battery - $600 (Canton)
hi

Matthew Tobey:
HELLO!

Surest Leo:
I understand you
i will make the payment

Matthew Tobey:
Finally, someone understands me!
You should come to my rat dressage recital. Only then will you truly understand me.

Surest Leo:
what do you mean

Matthew Tobey:
It's kind of like ballet
but with rats
or opossums if the rats have the day off
or plantains if the opossums are sick
I don't really recommend the plantain performances

Surest Leo:
can i make the payment
??
Hello

Matthew Tobey:
YES PLEASE!
I like you, so I am lowering the price
Please make a payment of just $875,000,000
your friend will love this MacBook!

Surest Leo:
I want to sent you 1,230
now

Matthew Tobey:
$680,000,000, but that's as low as I can go.
I have to put food on the table, you know?
The tiny table at which my rats and opossums eat.
Otherwise they'll eat the plantains.

Surest Leo:
i have made the payment
Did you see the payment confirmation from paypal
??

Matthew Tobey:
No

Surest Leo:
Ok
Have you check your inbox or spam
??

Matthew Tobey:
No, I'm sorry.

Surest Leo:
check it now

Matthew Tobey:
There is a fake paypal phishing email in my spam, but I don't see anything legitimate.
Could you just come over and give me the money?
Preferably in nickels. My rats are allergic to paper money.
If you can be here by around 1, you can watch a dressage rehearsal
though I should warn you that it will be the plantains rehearsing
I don't really recommend the plantain performances

Hello?
I still haven't received the payment.
But I went ahead and sent the MacBook anyway, because you seem like a trustworthy person.
I've also included two rats, a opossum and one bunch of plantains.
They will guard the MacBook on its journey and will perform for you on their arrival.

Surest Leo:
check your XXXXX@gmail.com mail
inbox or spam

Matthew Tobey:
I told them not to eat the plantains, so they will be hungry. They bite. The opossum will probably be in heat too.
Friend, I am concerned for you. There are two fake paypal emails in my spam folder. I fear your account may have been hacked by a nefarious lot.

Close enough.

Fri, 06 Jul 2012 15:01:02 -0400

Close enough.

Lara Flynn Boyle’s big toe makes me proud to be an...

Mon, 02 Jul 2012 13:12:13 -0400

Lara Flynn Boyle’s big toe makes me proud to be an American.

bobbyfinger: Blake Lively’s segment of the SAVAGES poster is...

Thu, 21 Jun 2012 15:27:43 -0400

bobbyfinger:

Blake Lively’s segment of the SAVAGES poster is the funniest thing that’s ever happened to American cinema.

So wait, Savages is a sequel to Krippendorf’s Tribe? Where do I get my ticket?

You’re welcome.

Wed, 13 Jun 2012 15:30:36 -0400

You’re welcome.

I love chatting with different people.

Tue, 05 Jun 2012 15:02:23 -0400

I love chatting with different people.

The Incredible Hulk is our generation’s Roger & Me.

Sat, 26 May 2012 14:33:24 -0400

The Incredible Hulk is our generation’s Roger & Me.

Photo

Fri, 11 May 2012 14:29:53 -0400

Taylor Swifties is a very important blog.

Thu, 10 May 2012 11:42:35 -0400

Taylor Swifties is a very important blog.

Photo

Mon, 16 Apr 2012 18:03:15 -0400

I think a US Senator just emailed me shock porn.

Fri, 30 Mar 2012 09:27:37 -0400

I think a US Senator just emailed me shock porn.

Just one person in a room adds 37 million bacteria to the air every hour.

Thu, 29 Mar 2012 15:47:15 -0400

Just one person in a room adds 37 million bacteria to the air every hour.:

That person? Stephen Dorff.

belinda tran: hey.

Thu, 29 Mar 2012 12:00:06 -0400

belinda tran: hey.

Matthew Tobey: yes?

belinda tran: hey there. 23 femaIle heree.. u???

Matthew Tobey: 92 male here
don't look a day over 86 though!

belinda tran: hmmm. have wee chattted be4?

Matthew Tobey: I don't think so. I just got my first computer today!

belinda tran: ohhh okk sorrry i wasn't surre im aIways meeeting new peoppIe. anywaysz.. what is up?

Matthew Tobey: do you know what this "esc" button does?

belinda tran: im sooooooo bored... i have somme pics on my proffiIe on this webssite if you want 2 see?

Matthew Tobey: My guess is escarole, but I keep hitting it and no escarole

belinda tran: [link] jusst go theree annd make a frree profilIe
you havve to signupp causee i have some nude picttures on theere so the sitte makes sure u r ovr 18 b4 u can see themm

Matthew Tobey: what's your favorite endive?

belinda tran: and don't worrry it iss 100% freeee i promiise. mk?

Matthew Tobey: when I was 18, it was the Great Depression
we didn't have much escarole then, that's for sure
I made a mean catsup soup though

belinda tran: when you geet signnedd up and lIogged in theen search for my profiiIe itts "ashji113"
my passswoord for my private gaIIery is "jjash113" if u wantt 2 see my nudee piics

Matthew Tobey: used to heat it on the radiator. on the worst days, that watery goop could taste like a full banquet.

belinda tran: brb phonne caIlI.

Matthew Tobey: ask them if they know what "esc" does!

Today’s is a marble-loser kind of dashboard.

Tue, 13 Mar 2012 15:21:15 -0400

Today’s is a marble-loser kind of dashboard.

"I don’t even consider myself wealthy …It can be here today and all gone tomorrow."

Tue, 06 Mar 2012 10:49:00 -0500

“I don’t even consider myself wealthy …It can be here today and all gone tomorrow.”

-
ANN ROMNEY

Millionaire Thinks Of Self As Upper-Middle Class | The Onion

Happy Scott Valentine Day!

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 14:01:22 -0500

Happy Scott Valentine Day!

Tom Hanks Seems Even More Tight-Lipped Than Usual This Week re: LC2

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:07:26 -0500

larrycrowne2:

Developing…

Peter Dinklage Gets So Much P**sy (by RueBrutalia)

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 11:21:42 -0500

Peter Dinklage Gets So Much P**sy (by RueBrutalia)

Okay, you can just go ahead and fuck off, Google.

Fri, 27 Jan 2012 12:06:46 -0500

Okay, you can just go ahead and fuck off, Google.